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November 2009 
What was the most difficult promise you made?
Posted on Dec 2nd, 2008
by 
Sugar
Sugar
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for December 02, 2008:
A promise of love that changed.
Sugar
Access: Public
how so?
Lillian Hellman put it best…People change and forget to tell each other.
to some, it's just a matter of falling in & out of love.
Sad…but true.
and sometimes it's coming to terms with people making promises that they have no intention of keeping. Then it's up to you to decide how you'll spend the rest of your time…either learning to live the familiar or starting over:)
i choose that starting over bit myself!
that “learning to live the familiar” sounds much too much like settling for'.
i don't T'INK zo!!!
I don't see it as settling for something you don't want anymore. I see it as, as love matures and grows there the excitment is as intense as it once was. You still love, but not in the same passionate way. The spark brings you together, the decision to stick with each other keeps you together. Of course in a new realtionship there is an excitment and novelty that is so wonderful and euphoric, but that can not go on forever. That is the chemical reaction in the brain that is involved in “falling in love”, eventually the dopamine isn't release in the same way. Not because we “fall out of love” but because that is just how nature works. I don't believe that any one person is going to be able to keep that chemical reaction going for years and years, athough people can learn to love the person they are with, without the excess of dopamine. Dopamine by the way is what leads to addiction which is why when we first fall in love we can not think of anything other than the object of our affection. That would not be healthy to carry on for a long period of time. We need to think of other things too.
I appreciate your insight Beth but relationships, (especially long ones) go much deeper than passion. True love is trust. When that is broken, there is only one chemical reaction:)
That is what I was saying. There is more to a relationship after a time other than passion. I am sorry if there was trust broken in your relationship, that does make things more difficult.